REGRET. ARE YOU LIVING A LIFE YOU DON’T WANT?

Waiting for the perfect moment or deferring what you want for another time is the stuff of deathbed regrets. When you wait and defer, you miss the opportunities the present is offering you to live the life you want.

You can design and build the moments with the ones that you care about. What sense does it make to wait? Every executive is busy, but the Executive Athlete never complains that they don’t have enough time to seize the moment when opportunity knocks.

Can you design your own happiness?

Professor Martin Seligman believes this to be true. Often referred to as the founder of positive psychology, Seligman created the PERMA model to explain the five core elements of psychological well-being and happiness.

Seligman believes that these five elements can help people reach a life of fulfilment, happiness, and meaning.Under his care, this model has been adopted by Geelong Grammar and is a framework that I use to make key decisions in my life.

This is the recipe for happiness and to live the life that you want. Personally, this is how I do it:

P — POSITIVE EMOTION

What makes you feel good?

One of my personal values is to experience joy daily. Each day should be exciting — that feeling when you are buzzing can’t wait for what is around the next corner.

Joy is something that you can create. You have to be open to looking for it at every corner through appreciation. I can find it in the simplest of things, like this morning I was admiring the décor of the café where I got my coffee at 6:30 am. I choose to spend a minute admiring the beautifully designed space with the girl who made my coffee.

It sounds hokey but I genuinely left the café feeling better than I did walking in. I made her smile and left both of us feeling happier for the interaction.

E — ENGAGEMENT

What allows you to be completely absorbed in an activity? What gets you ‘in the zone’ or a state of flow?

I experience this most when I am running or when I play golf. Being in a state of flow is where the rest of the world disappears. The task is the perfect match between my skills and the challenge. In that moment nothing else matters.

R — RELATIONSHIPS

Do you have close, meaningful and intimate relationships?

This has taken some work. I had to drop friends who are complainers. The ones that make it all about them. The people I choose to spend time with are the ones that enhance my experience and make my life better. I am much more selective with my time than ever before.

M — MEANING

What cause or group of people are you attached to that is bigger than yourself?

The immediate answer here is family. I don’t have children so I created it through charity. The two hours I spend at the PCYC Woolloomooloo each week mentoring 15 years olds who are having difficulty in school is the often the highlight of my week. I can see the impact I am having on their lives but at the same time, I leave each session more energized than when I walked in.

A — ACHIEVEMENT

Do you experience feelings of success and accomplishment?

Celebrating the little wins is important here. Work is an avenue for achievement, but I use physical competition (often with myself) as an important source of achievement. My current focus is long distance running. Each training session has a goal and I enjoy watching the numbers improve each week.

There have been times when my PERMA model has been out of balance. There have been times when I had needed a win, where I had lost touch with key relationships and where I forgot to look for joy.

My happiness is something that only I am responsible for. Success is something that I want, but also something that I have to go out and take.

I was recently asked about the advice that I would give on my deathbed. The final words before my last breath to prevent my future generations from living a life they didn’t want?

My answer — take the shot.

That is, trust your gut. If you see the opportunity take it. If the brain says go the body must follow. On the other side of that, is prepare your body so that when the brain senses opportunity the body is prepared to react.

Practice, not natural ability, is what made Michael Jordan a champion. Jordan was never picked in the top basketball team at school but went on to be the Greatest Of All Time.

On 28 occasions Michael Jordan made a game-winning shot in the final seconds of a game. He also missed 12,345 shots over his career. No one remembers his misses; they remember him for iconic images like the one above.

Every one of your greatest desires is on the other side of your biggest challenges. Use the PERMA model to create your own definition of happiness and fulfilment …and then don’t hesitate.

Learning how to take the shot is the ONLY way to live the life you dream about.